Honestly I have no memory of calling my mom and telling her I cancer. None, nada, zilch...I am certain I did this because she knows, but it this is one of the few things I definitely blocked from my memory. I can, however, definitely recall how I told the students in my class. I first did a lot of research hoping to find some type of resource, like a story/picture book that was already created for explaining cancer to children. Unfortunately I did not find anything that talked about teachers speaking to their students. I did locate some materials for parents and children, including some art related activities that would allow young children to express their feelings through drawing. The other book I found was a coloring book about a grandmother who had cancer. I quickly adapted this book to suit my needs, changing all the 'grandma' references to teacher or Ms. Rosenthal. I also colored her hair(the only color I added to the book) and made it look more like mine. Now it was a matter of when...the trouble being, this was also the year we had a terrible fire raging in San Diego and we actually closed school for a week. This created quite a bit of chaos in its own right because back then we had to call our families one by to notify them. It was also parent conference time, so with the delay of school I had already rescheduled all 28 conferences for the week of our return. Now I had this new kink...I had to have an additional surgery that first Thursday we returned. I had been in contact with my principal and our school counselor and with their blessing I decided that I wanted our first day back to be completely normal...Monday-as normal as it could be after returning from a bonus week off of school because our entire county was burning to the ground, but normal none the less. By that Monday I had once again rescheduled all of my parent conferences to Wednesday, without really explaining to the parents the need for the movement of their appointment if it was later in the week.
TUESDAY: While remember starting our school day in the same old way at some point the principal and counselor joined us in the room. At this point I remembering writing 50% on the board and asking my students if they would enter a contest if their chances of winning were 50%. Most of them did not think those were good enough odds to take the chance. So I changed the number to 75% and this time more kids were willing to enter. Then I changed the number to 95% and everyone raised their hands...they were all in! Without any additional information I brought them to the carpet to read them my 'coloring book' story. I told them to keep that 95% in their minds. As I read and through some discussion they were able to figure out that I was telling them that I had cancer. I do not remember most of their questions, but I do remember telling them that the 95% that they all thought was a great chance to win, also represented my chances of survival. This made them happy. I had prepared some special homework for them-their was a letter for their parents and that 'artwork' project for them to take home. I recall a lot of hugs. If you knew these children you know they were not the easiest of classes but they were definitely kind and caring. I explained what was to come for me, and for them as well. I was scheduled to for more surgery and then a visit to the oncologist to figure out the rest of the plan. I promised I would keep them posted from here on out. In the next 36 hours I met with nearly every set of parents, to pass along their child's report card, but instead they all were more concerned with me. It was very sweet. They offered whatever help was needed. I simply asked that they continue to talk to their kids about the news I shared and that they feel they could contact me at anytime.
When I look back on my experience during this time I always reflect upon the kind spirit I saw in the souls of these 9 & 10 year old children. The care these kids took of me throughout the next six months has left a forever mark in my heart. These children were kind, sweet, caring, responsible, helpful, generous and so much more. While I may have been their teacher they left an impression on me for the rest of our lives. I am so lucky that Facebook has put me in touch with several of them-now 18 & 19 and many in college. In the last year I have even seen a few of them in person. Just last month one of my students came to visit my classroom as part of one her college courses...what a treat to see them all growing up. I am so very proud of them all!
Here's Kristi and I:
Here is her journal that she wrote shortly after I shared my news with them....so cool she still had it and shared it with me.
FLASH FORWARD: APRIL 2013
This month I chose two completely different events to help me celebrate my Journey Around the Pink Ribbon.
First on April 6th my friends, Dany, Karen and I donned completely white outfits, including homemade tutus, and we participated in the Run or Dye 5K event at Qualcomm Stadium. These ladies and I have walked hundreds of miles together over the last 9 years as we have been teammates on the Breast Cancer 3-Day. One of the best things about walking together is we have easy conversation and we know each so well. I love my walking girls! Not really knowing what to expect we found ourselves with thousands of others in varying white outfits, walking or running through 5 different color stations in order to be pelted with powdered color. The crowd was pumped, the music was loud and the colors were bright. By the end of the event we definitely accomplished our goal...turn into Rainbow Brights. Not wanting to let the fun end we drove ourselves, in our paint covered outfits, back to In-and-Out in Escondido for a quick lunch. We definitely got a few funny looks but also lots of compliments. And after a few good washings we have nice white outfits all ready to go again should we need them in the future...hum...
For my second adventure this month I attended my first opera performance. Now if you know me well, you know that I have seen close to 200 live concert performances and tons of Broadway/live theater stage productions so attending an opera is not really out of my realm, just not something I had ever done. On the 20th Alan and I put on our best outfits and headed to Little Italy for an awesome dinner at Bencotto Italian Kitchen of scrumptious eggplant, pumpkin ravioli and yummy wine. Then we were off to see Aida at the San Diego Opera. While our seats were in the 'heaven section' of the Civic Theater the show was magical. We arrived in time to listen in on the pre-show lecture and then we headed to our seats. Aida was a great way to start my 'opera' viewing. The performers were magnificent and the sets were tastefully designed. The entire experience was a total blast.
