Eye Spy with My Little Eye and/or Better Later than Never

FLASHBACK November/December 2003:  In all the insanity of doctor's visits, surgeries, mammograms and fires and rescheduling of conferences I was also deeply rooted in my first ever training for the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk.  I had signed up for this wacky, insane adventure way back in the spring, never knowing how close to home it would really come when the walk weekend actually arrived this same fall.  I had been supporting The Komen for a Cure Foundation previously as a host of their Lee National Denim Day-a one once a year work style event in which company employees are encouraged to donate a minimum of $5 and in return have the privilege of wearing denim to work for a day-a luxury for many out in the business world.  However a commercial most likely sparked my interest and I dragged my adventurous friend Janet along to an orientation meeting.  Let's just say after some giggles, and definitely some tears the two of fools signed up to raise $1500 each and then to top it off walk 60 miles in three days...What were we thinking?  Both Janet and I had family ties to breast cancer so we had not problem supporting this crazy event.  Since the time we signed up things changed and Janet became one of my two biggest supporters that year.  I did manage to raise my money and was working hard on training-that meant a lot of very long walks on weekends, say 15-18 miles at shot.  I picked up a new teammate, Kristen, along the way and she I got very close, seeing as how we spent so much time together walking and talking.  As with many others parts of this time some things are hazy, but two things I can recall clearly-one Kristen went away to a conference during this time and came home to me telling my teammate that we had a new reason to be walking-for me.  And two that that first walk was HELL! I vowed NEVER EVER EVER to walk 60 miles in a weekend-it was insane!

Ok with that being said, and if you know-you know that I went on to complete my treatment(more on those adventures in another post to come) and after I recovered from that walk and with Komen being the marketeers that they are, they were running commercials for the 2004 Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk.  I suddenly realized one day that anyone who goes to cancer treatment has it WAY WORSE than I did when I walked 60 miles...and believe me it was not pretty-between blisters and a calf cramp that made my entire left calf into a solid brick for a day and causing me to actually miss 11 miles of the walk, cancer treatment is still a million times worse.  SO I strapped on my blister guard and since walked in 6 more 3-Day Walks(San Diego and San Francisco) and Crewed one event as well.  Over the last two years I have been a volunteer with my two teammates, Karen and Dany, carrying on a tradition, that started the very year, of bringing homemade cookies and milk to the walkers along the route.  Our team continues to look towards the future for at least one more walk to celebrate another milestone as the     3-Day Walk is home to us all.  Their is a sisterhood amongst the walkers that can never be explained only felt and witnessed in person along the route...so in 2014 we will once again be putting on our walking shoes and strolling through San Diego...because everyone deserves a lifetime.


FLASH FORWARD May 2013: I love to take photos!  I love to take photos of nature, flowers and non-humans really.  And I have been told I have 'an eye'.  But for the last several years I have been lucky using the auto mode of my DSLR camera.  Occasionally I venture to manual mode but it was always luck and never skill that got that one photo.  With my upcoming trip to Yosemite(my most favorite place to photograph, and well just be)  I treated myself to an AWESOME photography class this month.  I have been trying for years to master the 'triangle' of photography-Aperture(f/stop), Shutter Speed and ISO.  This is no easy feat since it is measured in fractions and bigger means smaller or wider or larger or faster or slower, depending on what you are trying to manipulate.  I had purchased a deal on Living Social from a place called PhotoCreatures http://www.photocreatures.com and signed up for their Amazing Photos in a Snap workshop.  It was 3.5 hours on a Saturday and it rocked!  Jake our fearless instructor had it worked out-he broke down that mysterious triangle into three parts-giving us(ten or so of us in this workshop) the background information on each individual aspect of the camera.  He carefully explained what it could for us in our pictures and then we got to play.  We had our own cameras and Jake gave simple directions-giving us time to see what worked and did not work and why.  He answered everyone's questions and kept the workshop moving along too. Once we all had time to practice each concept separately we put it all together-viola` I think after several tries at mastering this concept I GET it!  I have been out and about playing with my new found understanding of my camera.  I even set up the rental of a special lens to take with me to Yosemite in order to widen my horizons so to speak now that I understand, mostly, how to work my camera.  I am signed up for a future workshop with PhotoCreatures and if you are looking for some advice, a workshop or even a photographer you should definitely check these guys out!

Here are some photos I took during my practice:

 

 

Learning to stop/show motion with Shutter Speed~Above

Working with Depth of Field and Aperture/F/Stop (in this shot I got to borrow a lens to really see what can be done with this technique)~Below

 

Working with ISO(Film Speed from the old days)~Below

 

 

Putting it all together:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So stay tuned for more photos as I have been bitten by the bug~the PhotoCreatures http://www.photocreatures.com/ Bug! 

Running Through the Arts-Journey Part 3

Flashback: November 2003
Honestly I have no memory of calling my mom and telling her I cancer.  None, nada, zilch...I am certain I did this because she knows, but it this is one of the few things I definitely blocked from my memory.  I can, however, definitely recall how I told the students in my  class.  I first did a lot of research hoping to find some type of resource, like a story/picture book that was already created for explaining cancer to children.  Unfortunately I did not find anything that talked about teachers speaking to their students.  I did locate some materials for parents and children, including some art related activities that would allow young children to express their feelings through drawing.  The other book I found was a coloring book about a grandmother who had cancer.  I quickly adapted this book to suit my needs, changing all the 'grandma' references to teacher or Ms. Rosenthal.  I also colored her hair(the only color I added to the book) and made it look more like mine.  Now it was a matter of when...the trouble being, this was also the year we had a terrible fire raging in San Diego and we actually closed school for a week. This created quite a bit of chaos in its own right because back then we had to call our families one by to notify them.  It was also parent conference time, so with the delay of school I had already rescheduled all 28 conferences for the week of our return.  Now I had this new kink...I had to have an additional surgery that first Thursday we returned.  I had been in contact with my principal and our school counselor and with their blessing I decided that I wanted our first day back to be completely normal...Monday-as normal as it could be after returning from a bonus week off of school because our entire county was burning to the ground, but normal none the less.  By that Monday I had once again rescheduled all of my parent conferences to Wednesday, without really explaining to the parents the need for the movement of their appointment if it was later in the week.  

TUESDAY:  While remember starting our school day in the same old way at some point the principal and counselor joined us in the room.  At this point I remembering writing 50% on the board and asking my students if they would enter a contest if their chances of winning were 50%.  Most of them did not think those were good enough odds to take the chance.  So I changed the number to 75% and this time more kids were willing to enter.  Then I changed the number to 95% and everyone raised their hands...they were all in!  Without any additional information I brought them to the carpet to read them my 'coloring book' story.  I told them to keep that 95% in their minds.  As I read and through some discussion they were able to figure out that I was telling them that I had cancer.  I do not remember most of their questions, but I do remember telling them that the 95% that they all thought was a great chance to win, also represented my chances of survival. This made them happy.  I had prepared some special homework for them-their was a letter for their parents and that 'artwork' project for them to take home.  I recall a lot of hugs.  If you knew these children you know they were not the easiest of classes but they were definitely kind and caring.  I explained what was to come for me, and for them as well.  I was scheduled to for more surgery and then a visit to the oncologist to figure out the rest of the plan.  I promised I would keep them posted from here on out.  In the next 36 hours I met with nearly every set of parents, to pass along their child's report card, but instead they all were more concerned with me.  It was very sweet.  They offered whatever help was needed.  I simply asked that they continue to talk to their kids about the news I shared and that they feel they could contact me at anytime.  

When I look back on my experience during this time I always reflect upon the kind spirit I saw in the souls of these 9 & 10 year old children.  The care these kids took of me throughout the next six months has left a forever mark in my heart.  These children were kind, sweet, caring, responsible, helpful, generous and so much more.  While I may have been their teacher they left an impression on me for the rest of our lives.  I am so lucky that Facebook has put me in touch with several of them-now 18 & 19 and many in college.  In the last year I have even seen a few of them in person.  Just last month one of my students came to visit my classroom as part of one her college courses...what a treat to see them all growing up.  I am so very proud of them all! 

Here's Kristi and I:

Here is her journal that she wrote shortly after I shared my news with them....so cool she still had it and shared it with me.

FLASH FORWARD: APRIL 2013
This month I chose two completely different events to help me celebrate my Journey Around the Pink Ribbon.  

First on April 6th my friends, Dany, Karen and I donned completely white outfits, including homemade tutus, and we participated in the Run or Dye 5K event at Qualcomm Stadium.  These ladies and I have walked hundreds of miles together over the last 9 years as we have been teammates on the Breast Cancer 3-Day. One of the best things about walking together is we have easy conversation and we know each so well. I love my walking girls! Not really knowing what to expect we found ourselves with thousands of others in varying white outfits, walking or running through 5 different color stations in order to be pelted with powdered color.  The crowd was pumped, the music was loud and the colors were bright.  By the end of the event we definitely accomplished our goal...turn into Rainbow Brights.  Not wanting to let the fun end we drove ourselves, in our paint covered outfits, back to In-and-Out in Escondido for a quick lunch.  We definitely got a few funny looks but also lots of compliments.  And after a few good washings we have nice white outfits all ready to go again should we need them in the future...hum...

 

For my second adventure this month I attended my first opera performance.  Now if you know me well, you know that I have seen close to 200 live concert performances and tons of Broadway/live theater stage productions so attending an opera is not really out of my realm, just not something I had ever done.  On the 20th Alan and I put on our best outfits and headed to Little Italy for an awesome dinner at Bencotto Italian Kitchen of scrumptious eggplant, pumpkin ravioli and yummy wine. Then we were off to see Aida at the San Diego Opera.  While our seats were in the 'heaven section' of the Civic Theater the show was magical.  We arrived in time to listen in on the pre-show lecture and then we headed to our seats.  Aida was a great way to start my 'opera' viewing.  The performers were magnificent and the sets were tastefully designed.  The entire experience was a total blast.  

   

Pink Margaritas-Journey Part 2

March 29, 2013 Journey Around the Pink Ribbon Part 2

Flashback-September 2003.  Going into that first surgical procedure I still did not really think that there was any reason to be concerned, in fact I recall that my friend, Alyson, and I had a few laughs, after we called out the backup troops to bring us the mammogram films we promptly forgot and desperately needed. I was so grateful for her taking the time to come down and drive me around.  Unfortunately that stereotactic needle biopsy turned out not to be nothing of course...While the chances were only 15% that what they were checking was anything malignant, I apparently had calcifications that now required further evaluation, i.e. a lumpectomy.  

This lumpectomy was supposed to be a quick outpatient surgery...however when they give you some anti-nausea medicine with your anesthesia and it makes you feel like you are trying to swim out of the bottom of a jello pool-for hours, it was not so quick. In fact I remember, sort of vividly, being given the heave-ho from the nurses to hit the road (just kidding, those ladies are awesome!). However Alyson did not know how to get us back home, so because I was still swimming in jello somewhat, I leaned my head against the car door-jam and with one eye open, I guided us up the beautiful coast to the 78 FWY and to my house. Definitely a few more laughs were had along the way.

With that surgery and another day for recovery (I should have taken two) I had now missed more school days than I had in all the previous 5 or 6 years of teaching. My students were getting a little suspicious about why I was out.  “Oh it’s nothing,” or “It’s just some family stuff I need to take care of,” was my usual reply, although they did ask some very interesting questions around this time though-"Was someone dying?" and my favorite(thanks Ashley Ward): "Was someone going through bankruptcy?" Luckily I felt they were 9 &10 and were not paying that much attention, as long I left the sub with decent plans, would they really notice my absences?  Blessed again with another friend, Janet, who was just entering the teaching field,  became my regular substitute, giving her the ‘dive right and get wet up to your ears’ experience with my class.

Sometime in October my friend Kim, her infant son, David, and I went to the follow-up appointment with the doctor. On this day I heard for the first time, although I already knew in my heart, the 'official' diagnosis-you have cancer. This was one of two times I can remember crying about about having cancer. Dr. Kroener was kind, stepping out of the room for a few minutes to allow us to process, returning to answer any questions and layout what would come next. I learned I had DCIS(ductal carcinoma in-situ) and it was double hormone positive. At this point it sounded like a bunch of gibberish. I guess now I have something to tell my mom.....and my students...

Flash Forward-March 2013

Ladies dressed in pink clothes and margaritas were the name of the celebration game this month.  Dany, Lauren, Meaghan, Kim, Bridget, Tammy, Malia, Danielle, Nikki, Janet and Lisa all dressed in the pinkest of outfits and met me at El Callejon for margaritas on the patio. 

The afternoon was perfect, just after a rain so the air was clean and clear.  With laughs and giggles, chips and salsa, and friends all around, we celebrated 9 years and one month of being cancer free.  Thanks Ladies!